Driven by guilt and fuelled by chocolate

Photo courtesy of riptheskull

This is Valentine's Day, and a few predictable things will happen. Sadly, these events form an easily foreseeable emotional spiral that travels downward.

First, a lot of flowers will change hands. Wait... Did I detect a spike in the price of red roses in the week leading up to the celebration?

Sadly, many of those who give these flowers will look for a return on their investment in the form of the pleasure and surprise (go figure) the recipient is expected to show. The downward spiral begins when the she fails to display the expected emotions.

Who can say why her face falls? She almost manages to hide it when he hands over the last dyed, overpriced, wilting and beribboned pink bouquet from Safeway. Perhaps she feels the colour is too wishy-washy. Doesn't he know that red symbolizes love and Valentines? Or perhaps what flashes through her mind is dismay at the thought that this gift is far nicer than the dumb little card she got for him.

If the man who gave her the flowers is unusually self-aware, he may notice a creeping resentment begin to replace the satisfaction he felt when buying the flowers. This is followed quickly by guilt. He knows perfectly well that if he had shopped for flowers earlier, the fresh red ones wouldn't have been sold out.

Unclamping their teeth, they smile at each other. "Gee, thanks, Honey."

"You're my Valentine."

Like the flowers, a lot of chocolates will be passed around today too, driving both giver and receiver to similar emotional lows. At the first opportunity, she sneaks into the closet to console herself with a truffle from the box she bought -- just in case he didn't. She'd share but she doesn't want to make him feel guilty.

It all begins in Elementary school. Even though the teacher sees to it that everyone distributes Valentines among classmates, it's impossible to force everyone to give a valentine to everyone else. The unpopular kids know who they are, and the Valentine count confirms it.

On the other hand, the teacher can ensure that all the kids get chocolate. Thus do the unpopular kids begin the lifelong habit of using the C substance to counter negative emotions. When this nefarious habit eventually leads, as it must, to overweight and a bad complexion, this only fuels the original sense of inferiority. Chocolate addiction leads another level to the guilt.

Far from lifting people's spirits and making them feel loved, the Valentine's gift exchange that has become de rigeur on February 14 actually leads to a massive drop in overall moods. The only things that rise are sales figures: mostly for chocolates, cards and flowers.